Unmuted Hill
by Red Arkanz
Summary: The characters meet each other and become friends. Then they go on adventures and stuff. Rated M for language and suggestive themes... I think. M might be too much, but just to be safe.
1. Chapter I

"Unmuted Hill"

Chapter 1

"Mary... are you really here?"  
James Sunderland thought aloud, leaving the cemetery. James is a middle aged man with dirty blonde hair. He had received a letter from his wife a few days ago. But his wife had died three years ago because of some rare disease. "It's impossible, a dead person can't write a letter," James said. James knew this, but something in his mind kept telling him "What if...". James looked at the letter again:

"In my restless dreams, I see that town.  
Silent Hill.  
You promised you'd take me there again someday,  
But you never did.  
Well I'm alone there now...  
In our 'special place'...  
Waiting for you..."

James walked out onto a desolate street. The wind picked up and James shuddered, wrapping his arms around his favorite green coat. "It's freezing and I can't see a damn thing through this fog!" James finally spotted a flower shop. "Mary always did love flowers," James said while walking up to it. He noticed it looked abandoned. He walked in and noticed the gloom about. There were items and gardening tools strewn on the floor. The flowers and plants were wilted and dead. "Hello?" He didn't expect a reply. All the sudden, a flower pot hanging from the ceiling fell and smashed on his head. He cursed out loud and grasped his head. In his daze, he spotted a First-Aid Kit. "With my luck, I'll need this," he said while pocketing the kit. He left the shop and the wind picked up a second time, blowing a map into his face. He peeled the map off and noticed it said Silent Hill. He found out he was standing on Sanders Street.  
"I guess I'm here..."

James walked to the intersection of Sanders and Lindsey Street when something on the road caught his eye. On the road were streaks of red. They started curving towards Lindsey Street. He walked up to them to inspect. "Is this... blood?" James then noticed a shadow, further up Lindsey, stumble through the fog.

He watched as it stumbled out of view. He ran up towards the shadow, but it had disappeared into the fog. He ran on Lindsey street, kicking something along the way. It was a bottle, which was full of something. James chased it down and picked it up. He read the labeling aloud. "Health Drink. Supplies nutrition to the body to restore energy, speeds up recovery rate, and dulls pain. takes 1-3 minutes for full effects." James really didn't know why, but he thought it might come in handy.

He ran until he made it towards Katz St. He caught his breath and noticed it was blocked off by police tape. James thought maybe there was an accident. He was wondering what could have happened, seeing as there was no one around. He remembered the shadow and ran all the way to the end of Lindsey St. James, not being able to see through the fog, almost ran off the edge of a cliff. "HOLY SHIT! What the hell?" James screamed, teetering backwards from the cliff. He fell on his butt and scooted back a ways, breathing rapidly. After a moment of mental recovery he got up and carefully made his way back to Katz St, when he noticed another road, accompanied by more blood streaks. "Maybe, I'm on the side with the accident," he said while pulling out his map. The road was called Vachss. James walked down the road and noticed something behind a fence…

James opened the fence gate and saw a shiny red square on a table. He tried to pick it up but it wouldn't budge. He stared at it for a minute and lost himself. It was a weird feeling, like time slowed down and everything was serene. He shook his head and picked up 2 nearby Health Drinks.

James left the area and continued down the street. It started to curve a little more and was turning into a dirt road. Little trails of blood were dotted along the road. He came up to some large iron gates that were open. There was a little blood on the ground and on one of the gates. He walked along the dirt path when he heard a faint noise, almost like running water. James came up to a small cave that had a rotten, broken fence surrounding it. He peered inside and saw nothing off interest besides a radio that was emitting white noise. He climbed inside to examine the radio. James picked up the radio and looked at it for a second when he noticed movement…

James stood still and watched in horror as a creature rose out of darkness. It was human shaped, but lacked a face. Its head was featureless, but there were bulges to show where a nose, eyes, and even a mouth, should have been. The monster looked the color of a rotten corpse. It had no distinct arms, but it also looked like its arms were fused to it's torso, in the manner a person in a straight jacket would look. It was also shiny, like it had a membrane of wet skin. But there was also a large amount of blood on it. The monster walked towards James, making a hissing noise. It then did something horrific. It opened its chest and sprayed a foul smelling liquid. James stumbled back as the liquid started to sting his body. He opened his eyes to see the thing walk towards him. In a panic, James ripped off a piece of the fencing and hammered the creature in the head. It stumbled backward, then regained balance and came at him. The radio continued hissing while the creature opened its chest. James acted quickly and stabbed the plank into the creatures open chest. The plank ripped through the creature and blood spurted from its chest. It fell backwards and didn't get up. James knew that it was better to make sure it would stay down. He ripped the plank from the creature and proceeded to hit it. After one final swing the radio died. "Is it dead? What the hell is it? It's not human..."

James takes a final look at the monster and then turned his attention to the radio. It was quiet now. "This thing broken?" James said while picking it up. All the sudden, a female voice relayed a broken up message:

"Ja...I'm...e.  
Come to ...s...  
...ting f...  
...id you k...  
Jam..."

"What the...? I'd better take it anyway. I might need it."

That's the first chapter... woo. Trust me, if you stick around, it gets funnier. And I did leave out some plot points from the game... so don't think I forgot, or anything... The first chapters will be uploaded quickly, then there will be larger spans of time between chapters. I wish I could think of somethin else to say, but... meh.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Damnit!"  
James body stung from that creatures liquid. He examined his arms to find a lot of redness, but little tissue damage. But it stung quite a bit. He remembered the Health Drinks and First-Aid Kit he found. He grabbed a Health Drink and read the label again. He opened the bottle and peered inside. It looked pretty normal, kinda red. He sniffed it and it smelled sweet. Hesitantly, James took a small drink. He expected a really bitter taste. But it was actually quite good. He drank the rest of it and put the bottle into his pocket.

James proceeded down Vachss Rd. and heard his radio emit white noise. In the fog, he made out a similar creature like the one he encountered earlier. He ran up to the monster and slammed his plank into its face. The nails in the plank tore its face and sent it tumbling to the ground. It wasn't over. The monster started twitching violently and tried to get up but James stomped on its neck and heard a violent "CRACK" The radio died again and James stood panting for a second. He looked up to notice the police tape around Katz St. was ripped off. James had already decided to screw the law and hop the tape, but this worked too. He made it halfway down Katz St. and looked at his map. Neely's Bar was circled and it was just Southwest from where he was standing...

James made it to Neely's Bar, dispatching 2 "Straight Jackets" along the way without any damage. He named them Straight Jackets because they looked like they wore in one, only made of skin and flesh. James opened the doors and entered a dimly lit bar. The smell of old alcohol and some other unpleasant odors filled his nostrils. James saw many empty bottles on the counter, but found a piece of paper. It was another map of Silent Hill, but this one had writing, It showed that he couldn't go very far because some streets had squiggles or X's on certain spots. James assumed these markings represented where the road was obliterated or blocked off, like the hole on Lindsey St. Neely St. had an X were it met Saul St. and it had a squiggle where it met Nathan Ave. There were 2 apartments on Katz St. but Blue Creek was accompanied by an X. Woodside, however, was circled. James decided that was his next destination. He copied everything onto his map with a red pen, including where he has been. James looked around the bar and noticed a message on the window to his left. "There was a HOLE here. It's gone now..." James thought this over for a minute and noticed a table under the message. Next to some empty beer bottles, were 3 Health Drinks.

James walked across the street from Neely's Bar to Happy Burger. He thought there might be something useful. He passed a car in the parking lot when something exploded from under it. James was tripped while something rushed under his feet. He got up and saw a Straight Jacket scurrying across the ground with incredible speed. It was making an annoying noise that James thought would aware others of his presence. He ran up and swiped at its back with the plank. This stunned it, giving James the opportunity to kick it. He kicked it fiercely until his radio died. It scared the hell out of James. His radio didn't go off until the monster came from under the car. James made note to be wary of cars when he walked by. He found a First-Aid Kit and a box of Handgun Bullets. "What the hell am I supposed to do, throw them?" he said, stuffing the items into his jacket. James walked all the way up Neely St. and started on Katz, heading towards the apartments. He hadn't encountered anything for about 3 minutes. "I really don't like this..." James thought, walking towards the apartments. He walked for another 3 minutes when he saw a shadowy figure. Then, two more shadows emerged. It turned out to be 3 Straight Jackets.  
"...damn."

He thought for a moment how to take on all three. He couldn't separate them because they were too slow. A head on charge seemed best. He ran towards one and raised his plank only to get sprayed by the other 2. "AHHHHH!" he screamed as his skin actually hissed. He tried to attack again just to be rammed by one Straight Jacket. James fell down and jumped up, running back a few yards. James noticed they were in a slight arrow formation. "I wonder if their own spray works on them." He ran up to one and positioned himself behind it and between the other 2. They both reared back and opened their chests while James jumped out of the way. The middle one stumbled about and released an inhuman roar before it collapsed. It twitched as its skin hissed and melted in some spots. James ran up and stomped it's neck to end it's twitching. There were 2 left and he doubted they would fall for it again. James thought he could stand behind one and hit it. He ran up and placed a Straight Jacket between him and another Straight Jacket. Unfortunately, the one in front of him fell down and the other one sprayed him. The one on the ground tripped him and crawled on him. It looked him in the eye and opened its chest. Thinking quick, he reached in his pocket and jammed his empty Health Drink into its chest. It slid of James and started twitching and making a gurgling noise. It then stopped twitching and acid leaked from its body. James knew he didn't have to finish it off. The last enemy was easy, James ran up and hit it in the head and slammed it into the wall with his foot. He then administered a kick to finish it off...

James walked until he found the entrance to the fenced area. On the other side was the apartments. He went through the gate so he could rest a minute. James felt sore all over. He rummaged in his coat pocket and found a First-Aid Kit. He patched himself up and sat for a moment. "What the hell happened here... I hope Mary's okay, if she is here..." He then got up and faced the doors of Woodside Apartments.

He flung open the doors and welcomed what ever came next...

---------------------------------------  
Okay, there's the 2nd chapter... Just so people don't nitpick, I changed some details around. Also, I think the official name is "Patient Demon". But, My sis and I called them Straight Jackets because we thought it fit better and sounded cool... I'm also in a good mood because I got a new CD/DVD burner because my last one took a crap... and it was very cheap! Huzzah!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

James walked in from the light and entered a world of darkness. The inside of the apartment was even more, if possible, devoid of life than the streets. The windows were nailed shut and only small cracks of light seeped in. From the available light James saw small traces of people who once lived here. Trash was discarded in corners and most of the discarded bottles had a proof on them. One ray of light was shown directly on the wall to James' left, as if to say "Hey!". On the wall was a map of Woodside. There were 3 floors and the first floor had a door leading to the other side. James looked around, trying to find the door, but couldn't see beyond the staircase in front of him. James also noticed another Red Square. He looked at it again and started feeling dizzy. He shook it off, thinking he might become easy prey. "Wonder what I'll find in this 'cozy' place," he said, admiring the not so friendly graffiti. Next to some bottles was a Health Drink. James picked it up along with an empty bottle.

James groped around in the darkness, looking for a doorknob. He found one, but it was locked. He gave up on the first floor and climbed the staircase up to the 2nd floor door. He opened it and found the halls deserted. James noticed a light emitting from a room to his right. It was a laundry room. James walked in to check his map. Room 205 was circled in red, so James decided that was his next destination. Before he left, James took inventory of his items. He had his Radio, 6 Health Drinks, a First-Aid Kit, a box of 10 Handgun Bullets, his Plank, and an empty bottle. James felt a little weighted down, so he placed 4 Health Drinks, the First-Aid Kit, and the bullets on the dryer and went down the hall to Room 205. James opened the door and was consumed by a bright light...

James stood blinded by a floating source of light. He moved to the side and saw the light source was a flashlight being held by a mannequin. "Oh thank god, the break I needed." James stuffed the flashlight in his chest pocket just in time to notice something stand up. His radio went berserk as another creature rose up, but this one was different. It didn't have any arms or a head, but it did have legs. Four of them. There were the standard legs it was standing on, and 2 above it's torso that were dripping blood. James didn't know if this was because it killed something, or because it's feet were severed off. The legs were shiny and smooth, like a Mannequin, but the torso looked like it was made of regular flesh. The thing walked forward and swiped at James. The leg smashed into his left shoulder and caused him to drop his plank. James grabbed his bottle and smashed it on the creature's torso. It stopped the monster for a second, but it made a growling noise and raised a leg. James, still gripping the bottle neck, thrusted it into the torso, causing the monster to bow. He then forced the bottle in further with his foot. The monster bolted up from its bent over posture and let out an inhuman scream, rattling from its torso. It fell dead with the radio. James rubbed his bruised shoulder and began to think. "Mannequin..." he uttered, noticing all the plastic limbs scattered about the room. He looked back at the dead monster, blood starting to pool. James took a shard of glass and cut into its leg. Blood started to form around the gash. He then kneeled next to an arm and slashed the wrist. Nothing. James walked out the room and shut the door when something red started seeping from the wrist...

He went down the hall relying on his newly found friend to guide him. He continued until he heard a noise similar to wheels turning. It seemed to come from upstairs. It stopped and James stood there listening intently. He thought either someone was upstairs, or a new monster with wheels was up there. He decided that he would rather find the monster then it find him, if that were the case. Walking quickly, James made it to the staircase and walked all the way up to the top of the stairs. James heard and eerie creaking and groaning of the apartments. But it was weird sounding, like it wasn't the building making the noise. Maybe there was something making the noise on the roof. James cautiously went though the door and entered the 3rd floor hallway.

He noticed iron bars immediately to his right. He saw a key on the ground and it looked like he might reach it if he stretched his arm through the bars. James bent down and stretched his arm through. When he thought his arm was going to pop out of the socket, he heard something kick the key out of reach. He then felt something crush his hand. "Ow!" James yelled, retracting his arm and looking up. He saw a little girl, 7 or 8, with blonde hair and a blue dress running away. She let out a snobby "Ha-Ha!" before disappearing. "Wait, come back! Damnit... she's gone." James saw the key had gone quite a ways and he knew he could never reach it.

James turned away from the key and walked toward room 301. The door was marked with dozens of bullet holes. He turned the handle and it opened up to reveal a room that looked like a mafia fight had busted out. Every wall in the room had hundreds of bullet holes. The floor was covered with empty shells. James noticed a relatively new shopping cart in the middle of the room. He looked inside to find a Handgun. It had 7 bullets left. James looked around the room and found 5 boxes of Handgun Ammo. But James was skeptical... Only one box had 5 bullets, but the boxes were similar to the one he already had. So, James had 22 bullets. Filling the Handgun and equipping his Plank, James walked out the door to come face to face with a Straight Jacket. James reacted quickly and swung his Plank in a side to side motion, hitting the monster twice in the neck. It bent over and James gripped the Plank with both hands. He brought it down with enough force to knock it down. The Jacket started twitching and James whacked it in the neck twice. The radio died and he made his way to room 302. He placed his hand on the doorknob when he heard a scream downstairs.

James clutched his plank and listened intently. He heard a noise similar to what he heard on the staircase. It sounded like someone was dragging a large, metal object. The closer the sound got, the faster James heart would beat. Then, the sound got fainter and fainter, finally disappearing. James stood, breathing heavily for a minute. He feared going down there, but the scream really bothered him. James left the 3rd floor and made it down the stairs to the 2nd floor. He slowly opened the door and entered the hallway. His radio was emitting a faint white noise. James looked all around him, even above. But he couldn't see a thing. This disturbed him far more than anything he had encountered. James ran into the laundry room and grabbed the box of bullets. He went down the middle hall and noticed the sound got louder. James walked past room 206, 207, and was approaching room 208 when he saw the source of the static.

Behind some iron bars stood a man taller than James. He wore some kind of outfit that reminded James of an apron. His skin was a pale grayish brown color. He wore large boots and his hands were weird. It looked like the middle three fingers were fused together with some kind of glove. But that wasn't the weirdest thing about him. He wore a helmet the shape of a Pyramid. It was a deep crimson color and looked like it weighed a ton. James just returned the stare the man was giving him. But James felt like the man was staring right through his soul, like he had done something bad. James backed away from the man and groped for a door, his attention focused on the man. He read the number 208 on the door, but James didn't care if it read 666. James ran inside and slammed the door.

Static was emitting when James entered the room, but it was luckily from a television. James noticed a man was slouched in the chair. James stood there for a second, wondering if the man heard him. "I'm really sorry but there was...this..." James walked around the chair to see the man was dead. He had a gash in his head and blood was splattered on the snowy television.  
"Oh my god, who could've- Heeeey... TV..."

-------------------------------  
Yes, gears are shifting, and the parody finally begins... Maybe I should have put this in the parody column... Uh, sorry to those of you who actually enjoyed the story thus far. I started the story off seriously because I thought it fit. Hopefully, you guys will enjoy the rest of the story!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

James moved the couch with the corpse into a room with a clock and washed the blood off the television. He grabbed a nearby tipped over couch and placed it before the television. He adjusted the television antennae and found it did nothing. He noticed the remote and found the cable was off, so he turned it on. The snow cleared up and he checked the guide to see what was on. He flipped the channel to Fox just in time for Futurama.  
Bender: (singing) B-E-N-D-E-R! Be-ender! B-E-N-D-E-R! Be-ender. I said a B-E-N-Duuuurrrrrr!  
(James snickers)  
Man: (reading will) And to my nephew Bender, assuming he wasn't responsible for my death, I leave my castle-  
Bender: YES! Let's spend the night there!  
Man: on the condition that he spend the night there.  
Bender: Aw man!  
(James laughs out loud)  
Leela: 0101100101. What does it mean.  
Bender: It's just gibberish... (looks in mirror and gasps) 1010011010! AHH! (runs away)  
James: Ahahaha!  
_(creak)  
_(James laughs again)  
_(Creak)  
_(James snickers)  
_(Creak!)  
_(James watches the TV)  
_(SLAM!)  
_(James continues to watch)  
_(CREAK!)  
_Hermes: Stop being a big hallucinating baby!  
Bender: Oh yeah! Well would a big hallucinating baby do this? WAH-HAHAHAA! I'm scared..."  
James and Pyramid Head: BAHAHAHAHA! Hahahaa-ha-ha...

A commercial break comes on and James jumps up and spins around clutching the Handgun. Pyramid Head raises his Great Knife in defense. They stay in a pose of mid-action when James decides to break the tension.  
"What the hell do you want?"  
"... nothin in particular. I just came to see what was so funny..."  
" Oh... you mean... you're not gonna kill me?"  
" No, I'm not gonna harm you in any way."  
_(cough)  
_" ...wanna watch TV?"  
(Pyramid Head plops down on couch)

(A few hours later)

James and Pyramid Head are sitting on the couch, watching The Simpson's. They both laugh every once in awhile. It's truly an awkward sight to behold. It's so awkward, James keeps shifting in his seat nervously. I mean, here he sits next to a very intimidating man. His apron stained with blood, and he carries a very large blade. And he's just sitting there, watching tv...  
" So... were you the guy staring at me in the hallway?"  
"Hm? Oh, yeah. I was told to stand by those bars and see if someone comes by. I was paid 50 bucks."  
" So you're not the crazy guy who raped those Mannequins and who tried to cut me in half on my first play-through?"  
" No... I'm actually really quite shy. I don't kill or rape things on impulse. Hell, I've never even had a girlfriend."  
" Yeah, my wife died."  
_(silence)  
_" My name is Pyramid Head." Pyramid offers his hand.  
" James Sunderland.", James says while shaking his hand.  
_(SLAM!)_

Maria bursts through the door looking very mad. She shoots a glance at Pyramid Head and then glares at James. He doesn't notice her until Pyramid Head taps James on the shoulder and points behind him. James looks back, then continues to watch TV. She starts shouting at James, still glaring.  
" WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU? I waited 6 hours for you to come by!"  
"..."  
" What the hell are you doing watching TV? And aren't you 2 supposed to be killing each other?"  
" Wrong guy.", Pyramid Head says, still focused on the TV.  
"God Damnit! I've got frost bite cause of you!"  
" shhh..."

---INTERMISSION---  
Red: NO! NO MORE! I CAN'T STAND QUOTATIONS! And constantly having to write "He said, She said" crap! Well NO MORE! Due to story flow, and to reduce confusion, the setup up has to be changed!  
" Shutup!"  
Red: DO IT THE OTHER WAY!  
Pyramid Head: Stop Bitching!  
Red: Thank you!  
---INTERMISSION---

Maria: I could've been killed! I've never been so scared in my life!  
James: Ya know, you look kinda creepy when you're mad...

Maria starts panting really fast and foams at the mouth. James let's out a girly little scream and runs in the other room to retrieve a pillow. He jumps back in front of Maria, ready to do battle.

James: This worked once, I'm POSITIVE it will work again! (cocks pillow)  
Maria!

(After a bloody battle)

James: (panting) Well... I should probably take care of that...  
Pyramid Head: Uh, I'll take care of it. I'll even remove that dead body in the other room before it, you know, rots...  
James: Okay, I'll go wash my pillow...

James walked down the hallway towards the laundry room. He found all his items he left before and threw his pillow into the washer. James tapped his foot for five minutes, humming a little theme to pass the time. The washer beeped and he opened the dryer door, tossing in the soaked pillow. He waited another 5 minutes, humming the same tune. The dryer beeped and James opened it to grab his pillow. What he found inside filled him with a deep feeling of...

Confusion... There were 2 underwear in the dryer, along with his pillow. James grabbed a pair and tested the elasticity of them. They were still very warm... All the sudden James radio went off. He put the underwear back in the dryer and clutched his plank. A Mannequin demon walked in front of the entrance and stood there. He just stared at James.  
Mannequin: I uh, heard the dryer beep and was wondering if-  
James: These yours? (hands Mannequin underwear)  
Mannequin: Thanks...

The Mannequin walked away happily wearing both pairs of undies. James gave a small wave and retrieved his pillow. He made it back to Room 208 and noticed the bodies were gone. James plopped down on the couch next to Pyramid Head. On the TV was a Mr. Goodwrench commercial.  
James: Can I check the guide?  
Pyramid Head: Wait... (points to TV)  
Stephen Colbert: Those poor cows...  
Man: They're made of rubber.  
Stephen Colbert: Those poor rubber cows.  
Pyramid Head: Hahahaha-heh... ok. (tosses James the remote)  
James: Ok... let's see...  
_(SLAM!)_

A man with brown hair bursts through the door. He's wearing a brown coat and is holding a shotgun. He looks at both James and Pyramid Head. He walks into the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and closet as if looking for someone, or something. He inhales slowly and opens his mouth...

---------------------------  
Horay! The fun finally hits the fan! Yes, The story was originally written and posted this way. I had this story up a while ago, but I thought I could re-write it and do better. And I think I am, so far. I have no idea how to get Asterisks (good song by Orange Range) or tabs to show up, so I'm gonna show you what certain things represent: (Action) _(Sound)_ (_"Thought"_)  
P.S. Guess what the man is going to say... go ahead, guess.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, since I can't get asterisks to show up, showing sound, action, and thought has become difficult. So, here's a lil system to help lessen confusion: (Action), _(Sound), "Thought."._ I also miss tabs... Anyway, here's some more fun... woo...  
-----------------------

Chapter 5

Both James and Pyramid Head stare in disbelief as Harry Mason, the man who started it all and famous novelist, stood in the doorway. They were in awe because he's famous, but also because he was in the wrong game.  
James and Pyramid Head: ...  
Harry: Have you seen a little girl, sh-  
James: -"Short black hair? Just turned seven last month." No!  
Pyramid Head: You're breaking chronological order!!!  
James: Yeah, go away. You're creeping me out. Plus, I thought you already found her...  
Harry: Yeah... I did. And today, we went out for pizza and came home... then we watched some TV... and that's... all I remember. She disappeared and I went out to look for her, but haven't had much luck... so, here I am...  
James: Wanna watch TV?  
Pyramid Head: Room for one more. (pats couch)  
Harry: I haven't introduced myself properly. My name's Harry, Harry Mason.  
Pyramid Head: I'm Pyramid Head, and that's James.  
Harry: (points to television) Angry Beavers in 10 minutes.  
James: (changes channel to Nicktoons TV)  
Pyramid Head: HehHehHeh... I love Doodlez...  
Harry: Is there anything to drink around here?  
James: Well, I've got Health Drinks if that'll work...  
Harry: Yeah.  
James: I've got 3 Grape, an Orange, Lemon Lime, and a Strawberry...  
Harry: Grapes my favorite! (slouches into couch, examining bottle)  
James: Okay, Pyramid Head?  
Pyramid Head: Well, I can't decide between Strawberry or Lemon Lime...  
James: Just take both.  
Pyramid Head: Okay. (reaches into pocket and grabs bendy straw) Straw?  
James and Harry: Meh.  
James: _(slurp)  
_Harry: _(slurp)  
_Pyramid Head: _(slurp)  
_Harry: So... what's "that"?  
Pyramid Head: What's "what"?  
Harry: That thing on your head...  
James: No-no, I think that IS his head...  
Harry: Yeah, but it isn't organic, it-  
James: But it could be because...  
(both crowd around Pyramid Head, making observations and tapping his head. James gets a tape measurer and Harry is holding a small hammer)  
Pyramid Head: ...uhhh...  
James: Oh, right. Pyramid Head, what the hell is that?  
Harry: Head or Helmet?  
Pyramid Head: To be completely honest, I don't know. I've been like this ever since I can remember.  
James: Can you feel this?  
Pyramid Head: _(CLUNK!)_ Ow...  
James: SONOFABITCH!!!!!!!! (cradles his broken fist)  
Harry: Apparently it's his head... unless the vibrations gave him an earache...

(Hour later)

TV: And now, back to our commercials...  
James: _(slurp)  
_Harry: _(slurp)  
_Pyramid Head: _(slurp)_ How's your hand?  
James: The Health Drinks have really helped... _(slurp)  
_Harry: _(slurp)  
_James: Okay! This is boring! Bring in another plot twist, Damnit!!!

The door is slammed open for the... 7th time. A girl with short blonde hair enters the room. She's wearing a coat with the sleeves cut off and a green skirt with brown boots. The girl looks at Pyramid Head, then James, not noticing Harry. She's clutching a pipe and has a Katana strapped to her back...  
Heather: Have you seen a middle aged man with brown hair and a brown coat? Just turned 7 last month...  
Everyone: ...  
Heather: Dad! I've been looking for you everywhere! Where the hell were you?!  
Harry: I was looking for you...  
Heather: I told you I was gonna take a nap in my room... When I woke up you were gone... (frowns)  
Harry: Oh, I'm sorry...  
Heather: What are you doing here?  
Harry: I'm watchin cartoons with Pyramid Head (PH waves) and James (also waves). Guys, this is my daughter, Heather.  
Heather: (smiles slightly and waves)  
Harry: Heather, why don't you just sit down and watch some television. (pats couch)  
Heather: (sighs, then smiles and sits down between Harry and James)  
James: Would you like a Health Drink? (holds up Grapes and Orange)  
Pyramid Head: (holds Lemon Lime)  
Heather: I'll take the Lemon Lime, it's my favorite.  
Pyramid Head: (hands her the Health Drink and a bendy straw)

(Another Hour Later)

TV: Due to technical difficulties-  
Man: OH MY GOD!!! _(KABOOOOOM!!!)  
_TV: …We will be off the a-  
Man: MY LEG!!! WHERE THE HELL IS MY LEG!!!  
TV: Right... anyway, we will be off the air for 1 hour. Stay tu- Excuse me.  
(lots of gunfire is heard along with several explosions)  
Heather: Aww...  
Pyramid Head: What should we do for 1 hour?  
James: Well... I have an idea...

(Later)

James stands in front of the group as if to give a speech. James clears his throat, cracks his neck and fixes his hair. He then puts his hand up and extends 1 finger, as if to say one. He then lowers his hand and starts to jog in place. The group watches him for awhile when Pyramid Head breaks the silence.  
Pyramid Head: Okay, second word...  
Heather: It's one word.  
Pyramid Head: Alright, um... Jaws.  
Heather: You already guessed that.  
(James starts moving while jogging)  
Pyramid Head: Right, um... It's definitely a shark...  
Heather: No, he's running.  
Harry: Running!  
James: Hmmm!  
Heather: James, what are you doing?  
James: (panting) Give up?  
Harry: I give up...  
James: _(Huff-huff)_... Marathon Man, _(huff)_.  
Heather: You said one word, James.  
James: _(Huff-huff-huff)_... I know...  
Heather: Marathon Man is 2 words...  
James: _(Huff)_... It is?  
Heather: Yeah.  
James: Well, whose turn is it?  
Pyramid Head: MINE!  
Harry: Mine!  
Pyramid Head: Dun-Duh-Dun-Duh-Dun-Duh-Dun-Duh-  
Harry: Jaws!  
Pyramid Head: Yes...  
Heather: OK! Hour's up... Let's try the TV. (picks up remote and presses the power switch, sending a big electric bolt into the TV, causing it to explode)  
James: JESUS CHRIST!!!!  
Harry: No...  
Pyramid Head: Why, Why would you do this? WHY GOD, WHY!!!??  
James: I... guess we should go...

(The group heads out)

James: Okay people! We have to find a way out of the apartments. Now, me and Pyramid Head know the area pretty well, so we should split into 2 teams. Harry, why don't you come with me. Pyramid Head, You take Heather. Now, Harry, I think we should check outside and see if I missed something. We might find supplies to survive the long and arduous journey ahead. Pyramid Head, you and Heather look around the apartments and see if you can find a way out. If you do, go down to the first floor and wait in the lobby area. ALRIGHT!!! LET'S ROCK'N'ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Later)

Heather: You're kinda quiet...  
Pyramid Head: Hunh? Oh, I, don't talk much...  
Heather: Well, this silence is a little unnerving.  
Pyramid Head: Well... ok... got any hobbies and that kinda stuff?  
Heather: I like to watch TV, play video games, draw, sing, listen to music... Ya know, the standard type of stuff.  
Pyramid Head: (rubs back of head) What are your favorite games?  
Heather: I like to play Metroid and Kingdom Hearts... Those are my 2 favorite. I like other games too, like...

(Outside)

Harry: So... do you play video games?  
James: Nah. I'm too old. Games are for kids  
_(silence)  
_Both: BAAHAHA!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHaHaHaha... whew.  
James: I like Castlevania. It's pretty awesome.  
Harry: Oh yeah, I've played that once or twice... I'm into Kirby. For a little guy, he's pretty brutal.

(Inside)

(Both Heather and Pyramid Head are chatting about stuff)  
Heather: -I also enjoy watching House. He plays Metroid, too.  
Pyramid Head: Yeah... House kicks ass...

Heather and Pyramid Head walk around the 2nd floor, trying various doors. Suddenly, Heather's radio starts emitting static as a Mannequin stumbles into view. By the way he's walking, it's obvious he's drunk. He stumbles in front of them and faces Heather. He looks her up and down, well, it's kinda hard to tell without a head...  
Mannequin: Heeey sexy! Why don't you come here?  
Heather: No, that's quite alright...  
Mannequin: I'll give you money if you do me a "special favor".  
Heather: Why don't you go and get skinned. I know a guy who'll do it for free.  
Mannequin: (angry) Hey! I'm doin you a favor here! I've got twice the sexual organs most monsters do! Now put your mouth here, and your-  
Pyramid Head: That's NO way to talk to my friend!!!  
Mannequin: Shut the hell up! I'm not asking YOU! So, why don't you go off and do whatever the hell it is you do, I'm tryin to get me some action. (advances toward Heather)  
Pyramid Head: BACK OFF!!!!!!!!!!! (splits Mannequin vertically with Great Knife)  
Heather: I could've handled that! _(silence)_ ...Thanks.  
Pyramid Head: (sighs) Okay, room 202... (tries handle) Damnit! It's locked. (pounds on door and then starts pulling on the handle) HNNNNNNN-UH!!!! I... can't do it... (sobs quietly)  
Heather: Uh, I found the key in Room 208... (holds up key)  
Pyramid Head: (stops sobbing as Heather unlocks the door)

They both step in to find the room filled with cages. Each one was empty, but the contents must've been butterflies, because they were flying about. They'd follow Heather and Pyramid Head everywhere they went. They both walked into a bed room with a locked door to the right of a hole with green slime coming out, and a bed with dead butterflies to the left. A weird noise was coming from the room...  
Pyramid Head: That noise is kinda weird...  
Heather: It almost sounds like-  
Pyramid Head: Someone trying to hump a piano...  
Heather: Yeah... Hey, what's with that hole?  
Pyramid Head: I really don't know, but there might be something in there... (peers inside) _(THUK!!!)_ DAMNIT!!!!  
Heather: What is it!?  
Pyramid Head: (pulls a key out of his head) ...ok... I think we should go...

(Outside)

(Harry and James are on Lindsey St. They stumbled through the fog, looking for each other)  
James: MARCO!  
Harry: POLO!  
James: (takes a few steps toward hole) MARCO!  
Harry: POLO!  
James: (takes another few steps toward hole) MARCO!  
Harry: POLO!  
James: (standing at edge of hole) MARCO!  
Harry: POLO!  
James: (falls down hole) MAAAAARRRCOOOOOOoooooooooooo...  
Harry: ...Polo? (opens eyes and sees hole) (Inhales deeply) MAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
James: ...polo... _(thud)  
_Harry: JAMES!? JAMES!!!?? JAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (falls on knees)  
James: (runs up from behind) Yes? What is it?  
Harry: ... (peers over hole, looks at James, then looks back at hole, then turns to James bewildered.) Now how in the 7 Layers of Hell did you pull that off?  
James: Have you seen those little red squares around?  
Harry: Yeah...  
James: Well, I hit the ground, then I popped up at the one I last looked at. It's called "Saving".  
Harry: ...

(Inside)

Pyramid Head and Heather are back in Room 208. They glance at the exploded TV and sigh. They walk into the room with the Clock. The key that was in the hole said "Clock Key", so Pyramid Head remembered the clock in Room 208 and thought it might unlock it. The reason for a clock needing to be unlocked was questionable, but they thought it couldn't hurt.  
Pyramid Head: Ok, _(click)_ there... Now what?  
Heather: Um, it looks like there's a hole behind the clock...  
Pyramid Head: (starts pushing) HRRRRR!!!!! What the... (looks at floor) it's nailed to the floor!  
Heather: Step back...

---------------------------  
Now, we all get to see why Heather rocks. The charades joke was from Home Movies. And, for the record. House rocks. I love the show, and it's awesome. I've never seen Grey's Anatomy, nor will I ever. I became saddened once I heard it was not about aliens. I don't give a damn if Grey's Anatomy **IS** good, all I know is it's NOT House. So, by comparison, House is the greatest.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for the views and reviews. Now we get to see why Heather rocks. And then we get to see why James rocks. And just a note, this is one of my favorite chapters I wrote.  
-------------------------  
Chapter 6

Heather un-straps her Katana and holds it in her left hand. She grasps the sheath with her left hand and places her right hand above the handle. A spotlight falls on Heather and another on the clock. Time seems to slow down while she stares at the clock. Quick as a flash, she grabs the handle, draws the sword out of the sheath, and cuts the clock in half, revealing a hole. She then straightens her posture and slides the blade into the sheath and straps it to her back.  
Pyramid Head: Ladies first...  
(both step through hole)  
Heather: Hey... it's a shiny red thing! (runs over to stare at it)  
Pyramid Head: (looking around) Not much in here except a Health Drink... It's Strawberry, ya want it? (tosses it)  
Heather: Yes, thank you.  
Pyramid Head: There's the door. If it's locked I'm gonna be real pissed...

The door opens, leading them to the other part of the 2nd floor. There's a stairway that leads to the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd floor. The 1st floor is locked, so they go to the 3rd floor. In the hallway, they both try a separate door. They make it to Room 307.  
Pyramid Head: I'll go in... (walks in) _("...what the...holy shit!...")_ (dashes back out)  
Heather: What's in there?  
Pyramid Head: I'd... prefer not to talk about it.  
Heather: What was it?  
Pyramid Head: This couple was getting _(cough) _intimate...  
Heather: Ohhhh, you just sit down and think happy thoughts, I'll check out the rest of the area.  
Pyramid Head: (Sits down and rocks back and forth, hugging a teddy bear.)

(Later at 2nd Floor)

Heather: I found nothing too interesting, except I did find a "Fire Escape Key".  
Harry: James, do you know where we could find a Fire Escape?  
James: (Eating Peanut Butter and Jelly samich)  
Pyramid Head: Where the hell did you find a sandwich!?  
James: I...don't...know... (examines map) Well, there's one down the hall.

The group unlocks the door and climbs down the fire escape. James checks the map and says they are on the other side of town. They walk all the way to the Silent Hill Historical Society, and after some exploring, end up at a dead end. There's a hole blocking the path. James comes up with a brilliant plan and announces it to everybody, but Heather is skeptical about it's success.  
Heather: I don't know… This just seems kinda stupid.  
James: No, no. I think it's bullet proof.  
Harry: Aw come on honey. Just let him have his fun. (Pyramid head nods in agreement)  
Heather: I'm just sayin... ok, go ahead.  
James: I'm gonna jump down this hole. 1...2...3!!! OW!!!!!  
(James wangs his head on the edge of the hole while jumping down. Everybody looks down the hole, expecting to hear a "Thud!" But after a while, the only noise they hear is a loud crack.)  
Harry: James!? James, what happened!?  
James: ...I think I just pricked myself!  
Harry: Are you hurt!?  
James: Well, let's just say I can see bone!  
Harry: James! How many fingers am I holding up!?  
James: Two!?  
Harry: No! Four! (to Heather) It's worse than I feared…James!?  
James: What!?  
Harry: It's Harry  
James: What do you want!?  
Harry: Um, I just had a thought... Maybe you're turning into a Were-wolf... Is that possible!?  
James: Harry, don't even joke about that!  
Harry: James I'm not joking! Do you have any hair growing on the back of your hands!?  
James: ...No!  
Harry: James, it's Harry again! Do you have any hair on your chest!?  
James: Give me a sec...  
Harry: Check your chest!  
James: ...Heather, put Harry at the hole!  
Heather: He's here!  
Harry: I'm right here James!  
James: Okay, No! There's no hair on the chest!  
Harry: Okay, James!? Do you have any hair on your head!?  
James: Yes I do!!! Yes I do!  
Harry: Oh my god... just as I feared... Heather, get the garlic.  
Heather: I thought that only worked on vampires.  
Pyramid Head: There's rope right here. We can just pull him up.

(Later)

James: (walking) Ow... ow... ow... ow...  
Harry: I guess you were right, Heather.  
James: Yeah, sure, rub that in my face!  
Heather: This isn't good, I doubt any healing items we have can fix that (points to James broken leg). The best we can do is give him some type of pain reliever...  
Harry: Actually, I have some Morphine.  
James: GIMME!!! (shoves needle into leg)... Hey, I feel TONS better! WOOHOO!  
Pyramid Head: Greeaaaaat...  
Harry: Lookit him go...  
Heather: NO, James! Your leg is still broken... (James attempts to run, collapses, gets up, and then collapses again) Damnit! Well, I guess we have to go to the Hospital...  
Pyramid Head: What!? (Helping James up, drops him after hearing the word "Hospital")

(Later)

Pyramid Head: I-I'll just stay out here... you guys go ahead...  
Harry: No, what if we need your help?  
James: (woozy) Come on! It'll be fun!  
Pyramid Head: (sighs, then shuffles in)

They walk into the Brookhaven, which looks as dark and fleshy as ever. Harry helps walk James down the hall, followed by Heather, and then Pyramid Head shuffles behind. He keeps looking everywhere, clutching his Great Knife. Static starts emitting from the radios when a Bobblehead Nurse comes into view.  
Catherine: Greetings! I'm Catherine and welc-  
Pyramid Head: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! (hits Nurse with Great Knife, who falls to the ground.)  
Catherine: (twitching and making a horrible noise, finally gets back off the ground) Welcome to Brookhaven! If you're hurt, or want to die, we'll do the best we can to meet your standards. Now, it looks like he can use some medical attention. I'll take you to the doctor's office. And, there's a waiting room over there... (points to a room, in which Pyramid Head bolts into)  
Heather: ...Dad, you take James. I'll go check in on Pyramid Head.  
James and Harry follow the Nurse into the doctor's office. Heather walks into the waiting room and looks for Pyramid Head. He's sitting on a couch, holding the Great Knife protectively, shaking slightly. Heather takes a seat next to him and tries to console him.  
Heather: You're kinda being a wuss... you ok?  
Pyramid Head: S-sorta. I'm just a little s-scared of hospitals.  
Heather: Is there a story in this?

Pyramid Head: Yeah... one time, my mom was getting a checkup at Alchemilla Hospital. My dad was signing paperwork. I had wandered off and wanted to play on the elevator. I never liked hospitals back then, but the elevators were fun. So I went to the 3rd floor and bought a pop. I was gonna head back, when I spotted a 4th floor button. I didn't remember it being there, so I was curious and pressed it. The hospital became red and rusty. I would go through a pair of doors, and they would close and lock behind me. I kept hearing strange sounds, and saw people in straight jackets. They were locked in little tiny rooms, but there were iron bar at head level. They would stare at me while I wandered around. I wandered around many hallways and rooms. Each one held something horrible inside. I was really scared, and all alone. I saw a nurse hunched over near a gurney, and I asked her how to get back. She didn't say anything, but she turned around and moaned horribly. She trotted towards me with a scalpel. I couldn't escape. Before it was too late, my dad appeared and split her in 2. The doctors told us the 4th floor was for the "Psychos". So we wouldn't press charges, they gave us no bill for the checkup, gave me a couple dozen lollipops, and gave us a few gift certificates for Central Square Shopping Center...

Heather: (pats his back) Hey, it's ok... I'll wait in here with ya, okay?  
Pyramid Head: O-okay... thanks.

(Later)

Doctor: Okay, James is it? Anyway, were gonna have to anesthetize you and perform surgery on your right leg. (pulls out needle)  
Harry: But... I'm not James...

(Later, again)

Heather: What the hell is taking so long? I'm gettin bored... (opens bottom left pocket and pulls out a GBA)  
Pyramid Head: Hey, that's not a bad idea... (pulls one out of his pocket)  
(Metroid Fusion theme plays in unison)

(20 min. later)

Heather: Great, I'm stuck... How do I get to Serris?  
Pyramid Head: Let me see... right there, blow up the wall.  
Heather: Oh yeah, thanks.  
Pyramid Head: ...Damnit! Stupid spider! I've fought you over 20 times!  
Heather: (peers over and watches him play) Try turning into the Morph Ball...  
Pyramid Head: ...that's genius...  
(both start playing, making small talk)

(30 minutes later)

Pyramid Head has put his game away and is watching Heather play. He just stares at her while she plays. She glances up at him every once in a while. She becomes so distracted, she loses. She looks up at him with a curious expression on her face.  
Heather: Uhh, what are you staring at?  
Pyramid Head: I'm sorry, but you're very... pretty.  
Heather: (looks away quickly and starts blushing) Err... t-thanks...  
James: (bursts through door) GUESS WHO WON THE LOTTERY!!!!!??  
Heather: ...You?  
James: No.  
Pyramid Head: What's up?  
James: Well, the doc fixed my leg and gave me more painkillers.  
Heather: How do you feel?  
James: How do I feel? HOW DO I FEEL!?? JUST ASK JESUS, HE'S RIGHT THERE!!! (points to shrub) I'M GONNA GET A LOLLI-POP!!!!! (runs out door)  
Heather: ...damnit...

(Later)

Harry: James! Calm down...  
James: Comeoncomeoncomeon!!!!Getsomelollipops!!!They'rereallygood!!!  
Heather: You're scaring people! Calm down!!!  
James: Butthey'vegotalotofflavorslikeapple,orange,banana,banana,androotbeer!!!  
Heather: Fine! Just calm down before!!!

(Later... god I type that too much)

Harry: Whatshouldwedonow!!!Huh!Huh!  
Heather: Idon'tknowwhatweshoulddo!!Doyouknowwhatweshoulddo??!!!  
James: Shutup!Shutup!Shutup!!Theycanhearus!!!!!!!!  
Pyramid head: Hey!!!Let'sgotomyhouse!!Wannagotomyhouse?!I'vegotatoilet!!

(At Pyramid Head's house)

They enter Pyramid Head's house, but it's like a room. It had a fridge, small bedroom, coffee table, and a toilet.  
James: Does... that toilet even work?  
Pyramid Head: No. It's mostly for decoration.  
Heather: This is kinda sad...  
Pyramid Head: I was thinking of renting a room in South Ashfield, but I didn't have enough money. Room 302 was really nice, too... Well, a guy named Henry or somethin rented it... nice guy... Anyway, I should change, This is uniform gets really uncomfortable. Help yourself to anything in the fridge or cupboard. (walks into bedroom)  
Harry: (opens fridge) Hey, pudding...  
Heather: (opens cupboard) Pretzels!  
James: (messing with toilet)  
Harry: What are you doing?  
James: ...playing.  
Pyramid Head: Okay, I'm done... (grabs a vanilla pudding) Let's go!  
------------------------------  
Yeah, we ALL know what originally happened in Room 307. Heh-heh, ewwwwww... The "Were-wolf" skit is from Home Movies. I wrote this story while watching Home Movies. And I'm not too fond of Pyramid Head's little story, but I just thought I should put it in. I don't know why, but I thought someone should be afraid of hospitals. But I can't remember if I was going to reference that in a future chapter or not... I guess it would've made more sense if it was Heather...


End file.
